Monday, June 27, 2016

Band Geek as Slouching Yardstick

Preface

Up top, I'd like to declare that I am devoted to music education.  That might not be obvious as you read the bulk of this, but I promise you it's true.

Being a music nerd, I'm tempted to lean on the oft-quoted dogma that has become the battle cry of music education proponents, despite my suspicions of there being a non-trivial amount of junk science in play.

The National Association For Music Education has on their website a list of twenty benefits of music education and I thought I'd examine its efficacy by using myself as the sole data point with only anecdotal evidence, ensuring that this exercise will fail as science... not just as commentary and entertainment.

I did find this task to be reaffirming in my advocacy, such as it is, of people who take on Music Education as a career.  That position is explored in the article's summary, to which you might want to skip directly if you are not in the mood for what is admittedly a dumpster's worth of personal revelations which most right-thinking people would keep to themselves..

Nonetheless, thanks for stopping by.


Examination of Benefits

1

Musical training helps develop language and reasoning: Students who have early musical training will develop the areas of the brain related to language and reasoning. The left side of the brain is better developed with music, and songs can help imprint information on young minds.


I was thinking that if this were rigorously true, the author of this list would have cited some studies.  So I took an ambitious stab at reading one, which was filled with big words and made me sleepy.  So, at least we know it is also possible to somehow sidestep this benefit.  You're welcome, science.

2

A mastery of memorization: Even when performing with sheet music, student musicians are constantly using their memory to perform. The skill of memorization can serve students well in education and beyond.


What they're not saying here is that musicians might have a better understanding that memorization is not really "learning" in the larger sense.

That sentence is loaded with the bitterness of a piano player who spent every day of 2015 learning to play Dave Brubeck's "In Your Own Sweet Way" and then finding the voicings to be so opaque that at the end of the year I couldn't say with any confidence what key the thing was in.  Like, if a sax player asked me to accompany him while he took a solo over two choruses, I wouldn't be able to help him, even though I could kind of play a memorized facsimile of Brubeck's 1957 recording (at least a version which is as close as I can get without my hands being the size of toaster ovens).

I'm not discounting the role of memorization in education or in life.  Once, in the eighth grade, following a day when I was either absent or unusually distracted, our English teacher asked me to identify a prepositional phrase.  And I couldn't.  And she told me to find the preposition.  And I couldn't.  And she asked me how I would know which word in a sentence was the preposition, to which I responded, "Yeah.  That's a great question.  How would I know?"  She responded with, "Class, recite for Mister Trew the List of Prepositions!"  Which they did.  In unison.  While staring at me.  

It was kind of an Invasion of the Body Snatchers moment, but memorization could have saved me.


3

Students learn to improve their work: Learning music promotes craftsmanship, and students learn to want to create good work instead of mediocre work. This desire can be applied to all subjects of study.


True.  No issue with this statement.  Although, for hardcore peer-shaming of shoddy work, you really want to look at woodshop.


4

Increased coordination: Students who practice with musical instruments can improve their hand-eye coordination. Just like playing sports, children can develop motor skills when playing music.


They said the same thing about Donkey Kong.  And yet, I'm among the clumsiest people I've met.

To my point, I almost burned down my house the first time I tried to tune my piano.  That is not an exaggeration.



A sense of achievement: Learning to play pieces of music on a new instrument can be a challenging, but achievable goal. Students who master even the smallest goal in music will be able to feel proud of their achievement.


In the spring of 1985, it seems like every band kid was learning the melody from "Axel F".  

As part of our Spring Concert, we were playing a Dave Brubeck medley (I know, right?  TWO Brubeck mentions!).  Our band director told us that 26 years earlier, high school kids were doing the same thing with the alto sax melody from "Take Five".

I think about that a lot.  The older I get, the more beautiful it seems.


6

Kids stay engaged in school: An enjoyable subject like music can keep kids interested and engaged in school. Student musicians are likely to stay in school to achieve in other subjects.


In college, I met some dudes on the drum line that were in their mid to late twenties.  That's probably not who this article is talking about.


7

Success in society: Music is the fabric of our society, and music can shape abilities and character. Students in band or orchestra are less likely to abuse substances over their lifetime. Musical education can greatly contribute to children’s intellectual development as well.


I don't know about it being THE fabric.  I'll give them that music is a couple of polymers within the polyester blend of our society's fabric, allowing things like common experience.  It really did seem like the fabric of society when I was kid, because it made me feel like I wanted to cry without understanding whether I was happy or sad.  But now, the list of things that have that effect on me is absurdly long.

My experience, the jittery monk that I am, does bear out the idea that band students avoid substance abuse, but I feel like an outlier.

I did some cursory research into how many serial killers were former marching band members. Dean Arnold Corll seems to be it.  So, *thumbs up*.


8

Emotional development: Students of music can be more emotionally developed, with empathy towards other cultures They also tend to have higher self esteem and are better at coping with anxiety.


"Yer makin' America SOFT, is what yer doin'."

HA!  No.  Seriously.  Empathy.  They're probably right.


9

Students learn pattern recognition: Children can develop their math and pattern-recognition skills with the help of musical education. Playing music offers repetition in a fun format.


With due respect, recognizing patterns is maybe the chief thing humans do.  We do it to our benefit and to our detriment.  We can't stop.

A better wording of Benefit #9 might be "Music rewards the brain's proclivity toward searching for meaning within both structured and random systems in a way that is more beneficial than reaching the assumption that 9/11 was an act of the federal government."


10

Better SAT scores: Students who have experience with music performance or appreciation score higher on the SAT. One report indicates 63 points higher on verbal and 44 points higher on math for students in music appreciation courses.


On the day I took my SAT, I showed up early, in a clean shirt, with my hair brushed and my teeth flossed, took a seat, sat up straight, waited quietly for our proctor to distribute the booklets and forms, and snickered confidently when he asked if everyone had brought a No. 2 pencil.  Who wouldn't have?  Knowing that this test requires a No. 2 pencil is the only thing that everyone knows about the SAT.  I watched a dopey procession of short-sighted oafs shuffle to the desk to select a "loaner" from a ragged and shameful cardboard box.  I was embarrassed for them.

"And... begin," he said.  Moments later, after reading the first question and preparing to fill in the oval, I saw that I was holding the only No. 1 pencil that I, to this day, have ever seen.

This doesn't have anything to do with music education.  It just still really bothers me.


11

Fine-tuned auditory skills: Musicians can better detect meaningful, information-bearing elements in sounds, like the emotional meaning in a baby’s cry. Students who practice music can have better auditory attention, and pick out predictable patterns from surrounding noise.


I used to drive a milk truck which had air brakes that sounded exactly like the opening notes of the harmonica solo in the Doobie Brothers' "Long Train Running".  The suspension in my car sometimes makes a noise that sounds like nothing else on this earth except for the opening drum sounds of Men At Work's "Down Under".

And, of course, this...



The advantages of this ability have yet to reveal themselves.


12

Music builds imagination and intellectual curiosity: Introducing music in the early childhood years can help foster a positive attitude toward learning and curiosity. Artistic education develops the whole brain and develops a child’s imagination.


I was going to throw the Corollary Relationship flag on this play, but I do remember being in the third grade and being excited by the idea of learning an instrument and other kids expressing the same thing.  That didn't really happen for Social Studies.


13

Music can be relaxing: Students can fight stress by learning to play music. Soothing music is especially helpful in helping kids relax.


I've recently spent so much time swearing and flipping double-birds at my piano that I almost laughed at this, but it is, of course, absolutely true.  So much so that I don't know how people who don't play music keep from throwing bricks at each other.  But I guess there's, like... gardening and stuff.  People find their peace.


14

Musical instruments can teach discipline: Kids who learn to play an instrument can learn a valuable lesson in discipline. They will have to set time aside to practice and rise to the challenge of learning with discipline to master playing their instrument.


No argument.

There is this other perspective, though.  I heard an anecdote about Wayne Gretzky being approached by a hockey dad and that dad's kid for an autograph.  While they talked the dad implored Gretzky to tell his son how important it was to spend time on the ice, and he did.  He parroted everything the dad said about not skipping practice or cutting out early.  When the guy left, Gretzky turned to this other guy and said, "You know, my problem was I never wanted to do anything BUT practice.  They never had to remind me.  They had to tell me to stop."

I'm not trying to discount their point.  Practice isn't terribly fun before a person becomes at least kind of good, and that period can be long.  That's why I'm probably never going to golf, which is nirvana to so many people.


15

Preparation for the creative economy: Investing in creative education can prepare students for the 21st century workforce. The new economy has created more artistic careers, and these jobs may grow faster than others in the future.


Stop it.  Just stop.



16


Development in creative thinking: Kids who study the arts can learn to think creatively. This kind of education can help them solve problems by thinking outside the box and realizing that there may be more than one right answer.


I DID, late on a Sunday afternoon, come up with the idea of taking someone else's work, adding snarky comments to it and posting it as if it were a legitimate piece of writing, having spent the rest of the weekend watching four different YouTube users building models of the Millenium Falcon.  So, yeah.  Problem solving.


17

Music can develop spatial intelligence: Students who study music can improve the development of spatial intelligence, which allows them to perceive the world accurately and form mental pictures. Spatial intelligence is helpful for advanced mathematics and more.


During the halftime show of a home game in 1986, our marching band, in which I played trumpet, took to the field and started into our opening number -- "All Right", by Christopher Cross. The field show had the whole band marking time (marching in place) for the first sixteen measures.

That's not all the time in the world, but it gives you a chance to look around. This was among the last handful of games I'd be attending or marching in. I wondered whether or not I'd be able to remember what it was like to be in a marching band, and was looking around for little details which I thought I might miss when I looked back as an older guy.

While I was scanning, I noticed that one of the girls up front, one of the sparkly, dancing performers, was having an underpants issue. Hers had sort of slipped out from under her outfit and were riding half-mast at her hips. And I asked myself a question that I like to think that most unadventurous rural teenage boys occasionally ask themselves: "Is that actually sexy?"

The inquiry continued: "I mean, with the underwear slipping out of its position, you're seeing less leg and whatnot than usual. But, you're not SUPPOSED to see the underwear, and there's, kind of, a little sexiness built into that. So really, it comes down to whether or not underpants are sexy on their own, and that's not something I'd ever stopped to consider before. What if that turns out to be my thing? Do you get to choose and veto stuff like that? Because, I don't want to go through life being some weirdo who's looking for -- wait a minute... where'd everybody go?"

We were now like thirty two measures into the song. The rest of my squad was fifteen yards behind me and ten yards to my right. I was in the direct path of a line of advancing clarinets. I sprinted through the trombones and rejoined my squad mid-gate turn.

Ladies and gentlemen... Spatial Intelligence!

Underwear fetishism, as it turns out, never became an issue for me. But, I've occasionally had dreams of being chased across an open field by a mixed-gender horde of naked euphonium players.

So... I'm fine.


18

Kids can learn teamwork: Many musical education programs require teamwork as part of a band or orchestra. In these groups, students will learn how to work together and build camaraderie.


The phrase missing from this sentence, and every sentence that mentions teamwork, is, "with people you don't necessarily like."

Although, that bluntness does press hard on the truth that the team building exercise in which you're engaged is peopled by others who don't necessarily like YOU.

I guess I retract my criticism.


19

Responsible risk-taking: Performing a musical piece can bring fear and anxiety. Doing so teaches kids how to take risks and deal with fear, which will help them become successful and reach their potential.


I agree.  It's an informative thing for a kid who spends a lot of time trying to sink into the shadows to know that he has six weeks to figure out how he's going to hit a high 'G' cleanly and on the first try in front of an auditorium full of people.

Also, I played "Taps" at a couple of VFW funerals, which was a pretty big call to adventure for an awkward teen, and which I deliberately agreed to do before I have gave myself time to consider how stressful it might be.

It involved getting into a stranger's car and kind of living in his world for a couple of hours which, as often as not, included a weird moment when he'd spot another VFW member on the street who was obviously not going to the funeral, roll down his window and scream at the guy for as long as the light was red.

And then I'd watch mourners cry during a full graveside service, trying to look reverent while wearing a George Carlin t-shirt, blow "Taps," be driven back to school by a very old man in a very small car, learn some trigonometry and play some dodgeball.  Weird day.


20

Better self-confidence: With encouragement from teachers and parents, students playing a musical instrument can build pride and confidence. Musical education is also likely to develop better communication for students.


NAFME?  Your pants.  They're on fire.


Summary

I have a theory that humans didn't fully appreciate spoken language until they realized how hard it was to figure out a system for machines to communicate with one another. The idea that a single human can have an idea in its head, and then transfer that idea into other people's heads just by making sounds is one of those things that seems crazier and less likely the more you consider it.

Music, which is just an arrangement of sounds and silences, is the logical outgrowth of speech. The thing, in my opinion, that elevates music within the human experience is that it lacks speech's utility. That it's a human invention which possesses no agreed-upon purpose and yet grasps, lifts, heals and torments such a huge majority of earth's cognitive citizens is a testament not to its complexity, but to ours. If we isolate children from the opportunity to understand it, we do it at own peril.

I think this list means well by attempting to assign some practicality to music education. You always need a table of numbers and a pie chart to point at during budgetary discussions. But it really seems like music educators stand on the periphery of understanding alongside their students, reassuring them as they cringe from the prospect of being lost in it all -- and we, the parents, the former students, the tax-paying onlookers -- we're not really in a position to talk about what a noble thing that is.



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