Earlier this week, I was driving through Bridgeville at around 8:00 am, and I saw this older guy walking along who grabbed my attention. Here's what he was doing.
He was wearing a hat and a jacket. He was crossing Carol Avenue west to east in the crosswalk. He was using a cane. And he was walking backwards.
Here's what he wasn't doing.
He wasn't looking over his shoulder to see where he was going. He wasn't going slow, he wasn't being careful. He wasn't leaning backwards to shift his body mass in the direction of his gait. He looked exactly like a guy who was just walking regularly in a film that was reversed.
Here's what I did.
I looked quickly to other pedestrians and cars to see if they were also moving backwards. They weren't. So, good. I wasn't traveling backwards in time.
When we're driving, unusual motion of any kind engages an instinct in most of us to slow down and examine the context of our course. We check to make sure our position and movement are consistent with the movement and position of those around us, and on this day, that included me making sure we were all similarly oriented in space and time. That's a weird Tuesday.
"Gregg," you're saying, "how can I help?"
He was wearing a hat and a jacket. He was crossing Carol Avenue west to east in the crosswalk. He was using a cane. And he was walking backwards.
Here's what he wasn't doing.
He wasn't looking over his shoulder to see where he was going. He wasn't going slow, he wasn't being careful. He wasn't leaning backwards to shift his body mass in the direction of his gait. He looked exactly like a guy who was just walking regularly in a film that was reversed.
Here's what I did.
I looked quickly to other pedestrians and cars to see if they were also moving backwards. They weren't. So, good. I wasn't traveling backwards in time.
When we're driving, unusual motion of any kind engages an instinct in most of us to slow down and examine the context of our course. We check to make sure our position and movement are consistent with the movement and position of those around us, and on this day, that included me making sure we were all similarly oriented in space and time. That's a weird Tuesday.
"Gregg," you're saying, "how can I help?"
Well, if you live in the Bridgeville area, or know someone who does, and this is a regular thing, please feel free to drop me a line. Because, all I want to hear is...
"Why, that's old Flip-Flop Dave. He don't mean no harm."
Or...
"In the summer of 1973, Phil ran out into a thunderstorm. Pulled a couple of kids out of a floodin' creek before he got struck by Backwards Lightning! Never been the same."
Or...
"Heh, you must be talking about Irish Jim, the Human Caboose."
"Why, that's old Flip-Flop Dave. He don't mean no harm."
Or...
"In the summer of 1973, Phil ran out into a thunderstorm. Pulled a couple of kids out of a floodin' creek before he got struck by Backwards Lightning! Never been the same."
Or...
"Heh, you must be talking about Irish Jim, the Human Caboose."
And I'd be like, "Wait. Cabooses don't travel backwards. Why do they call him that?"
And then they'd go, "It's an unrelated nickname. He likes trains."
I'd settle for that. That'd be great.
Seeing things that appear a little surreal don't strike me with wonder and awe, the way I'd like them to. Sometimes they seem like ominous hints of some stark reality.
About halfway through last year, I listened to a conversation where people discussed the idea of Boltzmann brains. The Wikipedia article on the other side of that link is a little heavy, so here's my encapsulation.
About halfway through last year, I listened to a conversation where people discussed the idea of Boltzmann brains. The Wikipedia article on the other side of that link is a little heavy, so here's my encapsulation.
[I think it's appropriate to pause here and remind everyone that I'm a truck driver and shouldn't be anyone's primary source for theoretical physics.]
All of the matter in the universe exists in a chaotic state. Even if it continues to expand and disperse, reaching a point of near-stasis, there will be fluctuations that keep the widely-distributed sum of all existing matter in random action.
Once that is achieved, all that's left are the random interactions of molecules which, given the vastness if the universe and the unlimitedness of time, will eventually combine in every possible combination...
...iiiiincluding the arrangement of molecules by which you currently defined.
So... there's nothing but empty space and then suddenly, the exactly right combination of particles come together and then there's you reading this (presumably in the bathroom) with your head full of false memories of your long and eventful life that has been filled with, as far as you know, genuine experiences.
And there's no guarantee of that system continuing, so after a moment or two, everything disintegrates.
...iiiiincluding the arrangement of molecules by which you currently defined.
So... there's nothing but empty space and then suddenly, the exactly right combination of particles come together and then there's you reading this (presumably in the bathroom) with your head full of false memories of your long and eventful life that has been filled with, as far as you know, genuine experiences.
And there's no guarantee of that system continuing, so after a moment or two, everything disintegrates.
And here's a fun wrinkle...because you are dealing with infinity and eternity, it's way (WAY) more likely that right now you are just a random assembly of molecules which are moments from exploding into nothing than it is you are a persistent entity in a continuing existential narrative. Happy trails.
As you'd suspect, the guy who came up with this, Ludwig Boltzmann, looks like Rasputin on a bad day.
For a guy who didn't like The Matrix, I think about it a lot. And for a guy who suspects there's some sort of demarcation between living consciousness and even the highest possible computer processing speed at the broadest possible bandwidth, I spend a lot of time wondering if we live in a computer simulation. And for a guy who has never, not even once, been high... I spend a disproportionate amount of time wondering about these things.
But it's going to keep happening, unless you guys and people like Rewind Charlie from Bridgeville just watch where you're going, the way your parents told you to.
Even if not for the obvious reasons.
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